Reversed Reality
by MyDarkSideHasAWayOfHerOwn
Summary: What if our reality isn't so real after all? Looks like we're about to find out the hard way... T for much swearing. Self-insert, oh noes. Multiple insert, in fact.
1. Crumble

I AM NOT ABANDONING USO.

NOTNOTNOT.

I just hit a bit of a block. So, I write this now instead. Evil plot bunnies...

ANYWAYS, some friends of mine will be appearing here. Hell, they might even write a chapter in their POV every once in a while. And I am not using their real names, of course. That would be dumb.

And of course I HAD to write something for Kingdom Hearts. Onii-chan had me play the second one and I liked it and... yeah. A certain anonymous reviewer from Uso should be very happy about this. XD

**Be warned, there are many swear words.**

So I'll go ahead and start now. Yeah.

-I dedicate this first chapter to Newbie-Spud, whose awesome-ness I will never reach.

Readers... READ **The Interference**. NOW.

* * *

Reversed Reality

Chapter One

Crumble

Reality. Simple, clear, in plain sight. What is accepted as "logical", and "normal", when under any other circumstances it would not be so.

What proof do we have that our reality is not under those circumstances? What if, by chance, all we knew was a lie? And if it was, how could we verify what the truth was when we ourselves are part of that lie, that long-standing deception?

And what if what was regarded as "fantasy" was more realistic than our reality?

The possibilities are endless. In this reversed reality, the answers may one day be in sight although they are forever beyond our grasp. The cold, brutal truth: "reality" may in fact be far too complex for human beings to ever understand.

That does not mean that none of them have tried.

* * *

It was an ordinary September day- birds chirping, dogs barking, and that one girl frantically pedaling a purple, silly string-streaked mountain bike down the sidewalk.

Yeah, that one girl was me.

"SHIT! SHITSHITSHIT!" I swore, picking up speed and nearly running over a suicidal squirrel. "I'm gonna get caught and Mom's gonna kill me and SHIT!" I leaned to the left as I turned at unsafe speed and pedaled harder for the sake of getting away from the city before my mother caught me.

See, I wasn't allowed to ride my bike out that far by myself. We live about two miles past city limits and Mom is paranoid and I don't really need the exercise seeing as I'm forty fucking pounds underweight. Dammit.

Normally getting caught wasn't an issue; then I remembered that Mom would be going shopping that day, and if she were to see me riding my bike around town by myself close to Wal-Mart... I would never see the light of day again.

The thrill of riding a bike around the city and getting weird looks from fat people in cars made the risk more than worth it, though. That, and the weird look I get from the guy at the drive through... I THRIVE on the disapproval of others, what can I say?

"Augh, dammit..." I muttered as I came to a spot where I had to cross the street. Motorists in my town have a habit of scaring the crap out of me by acting like they're about to splatter me into the pavement. A few of them have come close.

Of course, I managed to get across without even seeing a car, but I was in too much of a hurry to celebrate. I REALLY didn't want to get caught, dears. When my mom gets mad, she could unscramble an egg. She could kick the shit out of Chuck Norris. She beat an evil dog half to death with a brick.

Imagine being raised by a woman like that. She is strict, but she says I'll thank her for it someday. Tch... "Mom, thank you for striking fear into my heart for eighteen years."

I am only sixteen now, but... yeah, you get the point. My life is NOT a big dark abyss, however; I have video games and anime and granola bars and my kitty named Ta-kun. All I have to do now is mug Chiikaku for her METAL Keyblade replica...

Yes, I am a Kingdom Hearts fan. It has Disney. It made Disney epic. Everyone agrees; that fat guy on that motor scooter, the dog lady across the street, and the people in that little black Jeep-

OH **SHIT**.

"AAUUUGHH!" I swerved wildly and dove into a bush as my mother's car whooshed on by. I held my breath, hoping she wouldn't recognize my bike and kept visualizing the car swerving wildly and rushing back towards me to deliver my doom.

Past the stoplight... past the pawn shop... GONE.

"Holy FUCK, that was close..." I sighed wearily, leaning back and looking up at the sky. "Shit, man, I hope I don't get caught... have to haul ass..." I got up, brushed myself off, mounted my bike, then started pedaling frantically once again.

It may amuse you that I am so afraid of my mother, but seriously, she is fucking scary when angry. She could make Sephiroth piss himself.

And then I wrecked my bike since I started laughing hysterically at that mental image. Oh my imaginary GAWD... I could just imagine the reactions of the Final Fantasy VII characters even as I tried to get up and mount my bike again. I noticed, vaguely, after my giggling fit, that I had skinned both my knees during the crash and skidding across pavement thing.

THAT, dears, is the major disadvantage to being an airhead.

"Well THAT was random..." I snorted to myself, mounting and speeding off again. "Okay, T-chan, focus on the road..." I shook my head a little and picked up speed, hurrying on down the sidewalk and thanking the lazy people in my town that never use the sidewalks because no one ever walks. ANYWHERE. No one ever rides bikes, either... except for me. And my dad on occasion.

A wild, unsafe turn, a muttered swear word, and the unwelcome sight of a stormy sky. The daylight being suddenly snuffed out by the oppressive clouds overhead. The obvious warning signs being blatantly ignored as I focused on speed and nothing else, not even caring as I took turns too sharp and almost ended up smeared on the pavement.

I didn't stop again until I got to the bullet-riddled stop sign; the safe haven. I was allowed to roam to that point... if Mom saw me there or closer to home, she wouldn't care. So then I finally noticed that I was close to suffocating and wisely decided to stop for a rest.

"Crap, Mom's probably gonna get mad anyway... it's looking all stormy and I'm not indoors, geez..." I grumbled breathlessly, dismounting from my bike and not even bothering with the kickstand. "Honestly, I understand some of her rules, but FUCK. I'm a TEENAGER, dammit... toss me a freakin' bone, woman... SOME FREEDOM PLEASE..."

Two steps, bike falling over, feet sinking.

I looked down to see that I was knee-high in... blackness.

WHAT.

THE.

**FUCK.**

Sinking more. Up to waist in the inky black abyss. "Oh my imaginary gawd."

Sinking more. Up to shoulders in blackness now. "No way..."

SINKINGSINKINGSINKINGSINKING- "SON OF A-" SINKINGSINKING ALL BLACK.

* * *

"Ugghh... what the hell...?" I warily opened one eye to have it assaulted by wind and small irritating particles. Grimacing at the sudden and very persistent discomfort, I cautiously opened my other eye and tried to move-

ARGH BODY WEIRD HEAVY FEELING ARGH.

"SUNUVA BITCH," I swore, grimacing again as I slowly sat up. "Okay, first things first... where am I?" I asked the empty air, cautiously swiveling my head. I hissed in pain as my hands contacted sand. Very, very, VERY coarse sand. It felt much more like gravel, but it had the consistency of sand. I scooped up a handful of said sand and examined it briefly with a critical look.

"Okay, I know I'm morbid, but COME ON. Black sand? _Really_?" I shook my head and let the sand slide between my fingers. At this point, I dragged myself to my feet and examined my surroundings with a rising feeling of unease.

A wide expanse of black sand that spread to a seemingly nonexistent horizon, and nothing else. The sky, I noted, looking up and cringing when my neck popped, was a lovely shade of crimson. The moons (yes, moons. I spotted five) were vaguely shaped like skulls. They even had craters resembling eye sockets.

"What. The. Hell," I asked the air with false neutrality. "This is NOT a cool dream. AT ALL." I vaguely remembered that feeling pain in dreams was impossible, but dismissed the thought. _Probably feeling the pain of a classic bike wreck. The dark sinking-ness was the beginning of the dream, enough said... _I cringed at a strange screeching sound behind me and whirled around. Seeing nothing, I shrugged, turned back around, and took one bold step forward.

At that moment, a huge ass... THING plunged from the crimson sky and landed RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME.

My clever response?

"**HOLY FEATHERED FLYING MOTHER FUCK!**" I didn't even take a second to examine the thing as I turned tail and RAN as fast as I could. I paled and swore when I heard loud, repetitive THUD noises behind me; I was almost certainly being followed. _I swear, if I get done in by that damn tripping cliche I WILL HAVE BLOOD. I WILL HAUNT THIS THING UNTIL IT COMMITS SUICIDE._

Good news: I didn't trip.

Bad news: Something wrapped around my middle and lifted me up.

Worse news: I was face-to-face with the... thing in moments. I finally took the time to examine it as a kind of forlorn curiosity. _I'm screwed, I'm screwed, but just for kicks let's look at the thing that's gonna... kinda.. KILL ME..._

It was like an enormous mannequin. I glared hopelessly back at an expressionless face: the thing had no nose, mouth, or anything; only two beady, glowing yellow eyes. It had huge pincer-like hands with absurdly long claws, a surprisingly slim and fragile looking abdomen, very very very VERY long legs that resembled those of a dog, enormous bat-like wings, and an absurdly long tail. The entire figure's flesh was an abysmal black color.

In short, it was a giant Chuck Norris Heartless thing. On crack. I briefly thought back to fighting the Darkside in Kingdom Hearts. I sniggered, doubting that repeatedly attacking this thing's right hand would miraculously kill it.

Strange what one thinks about when they hover at death's door. Then again, this whole thing was just a dream... an irrational, realistic dream... maybe if I let the thing eat me, I'd finally wake up...

"DON'T YOU _DARE _GIVE UP, YOU BINT!"

_Why the hell is there a British voice calling me a bint? _I wondered blearily as the thing started slowly squeezing the life out of me. _Why not just 'Yank' since I'm so obviously American...? _I didn't feel panicked at the sudden loss of the ability to breathe; instead of that I grimaced and willed for the dream to end.

"Ugh, dammit!" There was a strange 'shing' sound, and the thing- _Ah, screw it. It's the Mannequin Heartless now. My dream, I can name things what I want. _-the Mannequin Heartless tore its attention away from me and focused on something behind me and slightly to the left. It subconsciously loosened its grip, and I took a few deep breaths immediately.

"I... really... wanna wake up..." I gasped. The British voice behind me apparently leaped HIGH into the air, because the Mannequin Heartless looked up suddenly.

"Eat THIS!" A guitar with a long blade protruding from the end suddenly punctured the Heartless's skull; it immediately screeched in agony (_How can it screech with no mouth?_) and dropped me. I landed on the coarse sand with an undignified "oof!" and the owner of the British voice landed behind me on her (female voice!) feet like a cat.

The Heartless collapsed, then vanished in a black mist that almost blended in with the sand. I sighed in relief, then swore when something very HARD slammed into the back of my head.

"You BLOODY IDIOT, what the hell were you thinking? What am I supposed to do if you die, huh?"

"It's... a dream..." I grunted between hisses of pain. "A very realistic... dream..."

"...Well, you're half right. It is a dream, but at the same time it is not."

"Since when do British people spout random nonsense...?" I asked the air, still rubbing my head.

"'Random nonsense', you say? Rubbish!" The owner of the voice grabbed me by the elbow and hauled me to my feet. "You're the one spouting nonsense! I'm not even British!"

"Then explain the accent!"

"I don't bloody well know! But I do know that I can't possibly be British because YOU'RE not!" I whirled around at this, yelling:

"What the hell, was that supposed to make sense? What do I have to do with..." I trailed off as I finally laid eyes on the girl who had just saved my ass... But really, I focused more on her weapon. It was a guitar with a basic black body finish. The neck was solid metal, which was really strange. The lack of tuning knobs and strings made it even stranger. THEN there was the blade sticking out of the bottom of said guitar.

I knew that guitar. I knew it VERY well.

"What... what the hell..." I choked. "HAMMERSPACE? But... what the HELL, I haven't draw any High School Horror in over a YEAR! Why would I dream about a British kid wielding freaking HAMMERSPACE?"

"Well. You decided with Onii-chan's name for it after all," the British girl noted calmly, despite my pointless yelling. "Yes, this is Hammerspace. The weapon you designed." The girl inclined her head slightly. "Now... do you know who I am yet?" I examined the girl with one eyebrow raised. Weird clothes, two low pigtails, reminded me of my UTAU, Shijimi, minus the fact that they were... poofy. For lack of a better word. The girl looked VERY vaguely familiar, but no name came to mind. I doubted I ever could have met a girl like that, anyway; I would've remembered her accent if not her hair.

"I have no bloody idea who you are, or how you know Onii-chan!" I protested. "Hell, why do you even HAVE Hammerspace?"

"Calm down, then I'll explain." The British girl held up her left hand (her right has gripping Hammerspace, which was rested upon her shoulder.) "Firstly. I am the spirit of Hammerspace. I currently do not have a name, and at the moment I couldn't care less."

"The... spirit... of Hammerspace?" I repeated slowly. "What the hell is this, Bleach?"

"SECONDLY," the girl continued loudly. "I know Onii-chan because you know him. I know everything you know... and more."

"And THAT'S not arrogant at all..."

"THIRDLY, I have Hammerspace because I haven't been able to deliver it yet. On that thought, here," the British girl shoved Hammerspace at me; I cautiously grabbed it and hugged it like it was my firstborn. The British girl gave me a kind of disturbed look, but shook her head and continued. "Any more questions, Temari?" _She even knows my alias. Convenient if not disturbing._

"...Hearing that in a British accent is odd..." I muttered. "Yeah, uh, is this really Hammerspace? Twenty concealed weapons and all?"

"Of course, you nitwit. Why wouldn't it be?"

"Dreams are never that convenient. Bleh." I shrugged my shoulders and loosened my grip on Hammerspace slightly. "Where are we exactly?"

"This," the British girl started, spreading her arms and spinning around a little. "THIS... is your heart, Temari. In a way." She stopped spinning when I gave her the weirdest look I could ever manage. "Well, kinda. You certainly aren't ready for an Awakening, so this'll have to do."

"...Just what the hell was that THING doing in my heart?" I asked shrilly. The British girl merely rolled her eyes.

"Oh, don't be so dramatic. You know as well as I do that there's darkness in every heart. You can plainly see it now." The British girl extended a hand toward Hammerspace. "And Hammerspace proves it further. The twenty weapons that are concealed within... they each represent one of your heart's greatest flaws. Such as the simple blade. It represents your doubt."

"Doubt, huh... figures." I took a moment to remember the controls I had thought up for Hammerspace; I twisted the neck counterclockwise and the blade instantly retracted.

"Good, you remember. How do you take the safety off?" I hit a small switch close to where the neck meets the body. "Very good. You're not a complete loss."

"What does everything else represent, anyway?" I asked quietly.

"Psh, I don't have the bloody time to tell you all that." The British girl crossed her arms and gave me a serious look. "You're probably bloody better off not knowing anyway. Sure, you take criticism surprisingly well, but if you were to realize... ugh, never mind."

"Realize wha-"

"I SAID never mind. Anyway, you'll be waking up soon. Just... keep your head, all right? You have a lot of work to do if you ever want your life back," The British girl sighed, rolling her shoulders. "I'll always be here. Just ask me for help if you need it. Controls, enemy weaknesses, you name it." The British girl inclined her head. "I thought you'd convinced yourself that this is all fake. Changed your mind, did you?"

"No. The best way to handle dreams like this is to pretend they're real..." I replied with a sigh. Then, my eye twitched. "Wait. Work to do? Enemy wea- what? Hey, wait a minute! What kind of work are we talking about here?" I asked loudly, swinging Hammerspace in a horizontal arc for emphasis. The British girl merely laughed a little and grinned somewhat evilly.

"Oh, you know, saving the world and all that jazz," she replied airily, waving a hand.

"SAVING THE WORLD? HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO SAVE THE WORLD? I WALK INTO WALLS, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!" I screamed as Hammerspace fell from my hand into the black sand below. My shouting only seemed to amuse the girl in front of me.

"Well, we'll just have to work on that, now won't we?" The British girl offered me a slightly sadistic grin. "Don't fret your empty head, little Temari; you'll have _plenty _of time to prepare for what's to come." The world around me started to spin and I fell to my knees, suddenly weak with nausea. Then, the British girl's sadistic grin widened as she waved at me a little and the world abruptly faded to black.

* * *

And that's (the short) chapter one.

Okay. The story title is cheesy, I know... (shot)

About that stuff at the beginning. I spend a lot of time alone and think about the weirdest shit. Such as... that. It's a nice creepy way to start a story, ne? XD

And I love riding my bike around town. It's so much fucking fun. Fat people in cars hate me for it, too. XD

Yes, my friend has a perfect replica Keyblade that is metal. She bought it from some random guy for... what, $120? If even that much. It even came with Sora's necklace.

Why is this set in September when I posted this in January?... I've been procrastinating, and rewriting, and procrastinating some more. Nyeeehh.

And lots of swearing. I actually do swear a lot when angry, scared, or frustrated. It must be from Mom's side, because she does that too. Sorry if that offends you dearies.

The British slang word "bint" is basically (from what I've read) calling a girl a whore. I might be wrong about the meaning, but I'm pretty sure the term is some kind of feminine insult. Ask a British person. They're amazing. EVERYONE WANTS A BRITISH ACCENT, DON'T EVEN DENY IT. And I know British people don't say 'bloody' as much as the 'British girl' does, but I'm trying to emphasize the fact that she sounds British. Hence me utilizing my meager knowledge of British slang.

And I'ma done rambling. Just wait... I'll have my friends contribute to this too. ^ ^ Until next time, dears!

-Temari Haruhara


	2. Freaking Out and Hasty Arrangements

Reviews. WHOOT.

anonymous reviewss...

1. Update is here, enjoy.

2. I usually write chapters a lot longer than that... but yeah. Enjoy this next part.

**Sylph Writer**: Heeey, Sylph-sama! The writer's block is mostly my fault because I'm trying out a lot of other video games (cough Legend of Zelda cough) and I've almost completely forgotten about Tales of the Abyss. BUT I am not giving up on Uso! I love it too much. And indeed, it is sound advice. XD

* * *

Reversed Reality

Chapter Two

Freaking Out and Hasty Arrangements

Ya know that feeling when you have a normal enough dream that gets really weird at the end, and you wake up and you're like "What the fuck kind of dream was that?"

Well...

"What the FUCK kind of dream was THAT?" I groaned, sitting up slowly. "British girl in my heart swingin' 'round Hammerspace... the mannequin Heartless thing... my heart being a desert with skull moons... geez..." I rubbed my eyes blearily and sighed. "Hell, it'd make a good fanfic. Gotta get home and write this down before I forget it..." I opened my eyes and squinted in the bright light. _Wasn't it all stormy awhile ago?... Neh, must've been part of that weird-ass dream. _After dragging myself to my feet, I revolved slowly; the sight that met my eyes was a frightening one.

I wasn't in my town. Or anywhere NEAR it.

I was surrounded by stone walls, stairs, cobblestones, and the occasional strange machine. There were some spare construction materials, such as steel plates and fencing, scattered about the area. I could see that the asphalt I was standing on led on to my right, uphill, toward what looked like a castle with odd machinery attached to it in odd places. To my left, I could see a downward slope leading to a desolate valley. My instincts were screaming at me; I knew this place. I knew it, I KNEW it...

"Hol-Hollow... Bastion...?" I wondered shakily, trembling violently. "N-no way. I'm dreaming. Still dreaming... yeah..." Shaking my head wildly, I stumbled backward a few steps and bumped into one of the stone walls. At that point, my luck bestowed upon me another great gift...

A weird sound, like a POOF. Clattering, like... lightweight armor...? I gulped and hesitantly lifted my head; sure enough, several (ten, maybe fifteen?) Soldier Heartless were merrily marching along... IN MY FREAKING DIRECTION.

My ingenious solution?

Freak out and _run_. Simultaneously.

"AARRGGHH!" I jumped over the closest Heartless and took off up the stairs as fast as I could go, cursing my laziness as I was soon out of breath. Adrenaline kept me going as I dashed through the bailey, with those adorable little bastards in close pursuit. "THIS DREAM **SUCKS**! I WANNA WAKE UP **RIGHT FREAKING NOW**!" One of the Heartless lunged and slashed at me with its wicked claws. I screamed and swore as blood ran down my arm, stopped running, and kicked the offender in the face before I started fleeing the area again.

Within another ten minutes, I'd reached the welcome sight of Merlin's house. I skidded to a sudden stop and started banging on the door as hard as I could. "**HEY**! HEY, I NEED SOME HELP! THESE FREAKIN' THINGS ARE TRYING TO **KILL **ME!" I kept on abusing that vertical slab of wood for another minute before I finally realized: _no one's in there. _"DAMMIT!" With the Soldier Heartless right behind me, I decided on a selfish and stupid course of action; run to the Marketplace. There would be people there. People could help.

Thankfully, there came a force to prevent me from endangering all the people in the Marketplace. A force with a large shuriken and a confident grin, to be exact. _Yuffie._

"Heads up, kiddo!" Yuffie dashed right past me toward the group of Heartless and started throwing her shuriken around like the master she so obviously was. Second selfish decision of the day: I kept running toward the Marketplace. Thankfully, Yuffie didn't seem to care... if she even noticed at all.

Another flight of stairs, adrenaline high spiralling downward, and I collapsed at the feet of dear old Scrooge McDuck. I swore under my breath as I gasped for air; Scrooge hesitantly poked me and kneeled next to my bleeding arm.

"My goodness, lassie, you look terrible!" _Even worse than usual? _I asked mentally, dragging my upper body off of the ground. "You, there! Bring a Potion!"

"But who's paying for iiiiiitt?" I heard an annoying voice whine. _Must be the duck that runs the item shop... can never tell those three birds apart, nyeh..._

"Never mind that, lad! This one needs help!" I felt a feathered hand on my shoulder. "You'll be all right, lass. Everything's going to be fine." A repetitive slap noise suddenly reached my ears- _ah, I guess that's what it sounds like when a duck runs with his flat flipper feet..._

Whilst Scrooge repeatedly insisted I would be fine, I had a silent but very exaggerated breakdown. I don't handle stress well at all, believe me. So I quietly cried my heart out and tried in vain to catch my breath. There was the sound of breaking glass, and a sticky substance spread over my injured arm. It stung horribly, and I swore out loud; however, the pain left as suddenly as it had come.

"There. Do you feel better now, lassie?" Scrooge asked gently as I looked up at him and grimaced.

"Frickin'... great..." I gasped sarcastically, discreetly wiping the tears from my face. The initial shock of being in Hollow Bastion had boiled down to a dull throb, leaving me much calmer but in a terrible mood nonetheless. "Ergh, sorry... about that... I'll pay for that Potion as soon as I can..."

"I'll put in on your tab," the item store duck (I honestly can't remember his name. Huey?) volunteered, conjuring a notebook. "Name?"

"Temari Haruhara," I choked; the young duck wrote a bunch of stuff down before nodding and thanking me for the business (in an obnoxiously cheery voice.) After getting to my feet, I bowed my head to the two bipedal birds before calmly departing towards the other side of the Marketplace. I had to resist an overpowering urge to hug the moogle as I walked passed him, managed to trip over a loose cobblestone, and settled into a sitting position behind the accessory shop run by another of those little confusing ducks.

_It's a dream, _I told myself firmly, no longer believing it. _It's a dream, it's a dream, it's a freaking DREAM. _I hugged myself like a frightened child and mumbled the phrase under my breath, trying and failing to convince myself. "It's a dream, it's a dream, it's a dream..."

_**In denial as usual, I see. **_Cue me making an odd choking sound and jumping a good few feet in the air. I whirled my head, seeing no one in the unfamiliar environment at all (not including those lounging in the Marketplace, but I couldn't actually see them from behind a building.) At that point, I knew it couldn't be a dream. The gashes from the Heartless's claws were proof enough, healed or no. I dismissed the forlorn hope that I was dreaming and was suddenly more worried about the voice I'd heard... that obnoxious, familiar British voice...

"What the hell?" I shouted stupidly, gripping my head. "British girl?" _Where IS she? Can this situation get ANY weirder? Holy freaking CRAP, this is trippy!_

_**Yes, but don't reply to me out loud. You'll look insane. Ever heard of telepathy?**_

_You're... you're in my head! _I accused mentally, still gripping my head and trembling. Yes, I may have been overreacting, but I wasn't exactly used to British voices in my head. That, and I hadn't completely recovered from the shock of being in Hollow Bastion. _But... but... YOU WERE JUST A DREAM! A FREAKING DREAM!_

_**Always the skeptic, little T-chan. Ah, no matter. Try conjuring Hammerspace.**_

_HOW? _I asked roughly, releasing the grip I had on my head and hugging my knees instead. I heard the British girl chuckling at my obvious discomfort. I briefly considered telling her to screw off and get out of my mind.

_**Just concentrate on Hammerspace and it'll do the rest. It's like the Keyblade; it has a will of its own... i.e., me.**_

_Like... the Keyblade...? _I wondered as I did as I was told. I held my hand out in front of me and focused on Hammerspace as hard as I could. I couldn't help but grin at the sound of the British girl irritably swearing in pain, as if she had just stubbed her toe or something.

_**Ow, don't try to force it like that! Just... concentrate. Don't give yourself a brain hemorrhage, now. **_I rolled my eyes and tried again, this time just letting my mind hover on Hammerspace; the design, the feel, the reassuring weight...

There was a strange noise, similar to when Sora would summon his Keyblade. My arm dropped from the sudden weight, and sure enough, Hammerspace was clasped in my right hand with all its glory. I grimaced and laughed ironically. _And WHY couldn't I have done this while I was being ATTACKED? _I sighed, forfeiting the irritation, and slung my dear guitar on my back.

_**Why bother carrying the bloody thing around? You can dismiss it and summon it like a Keyblade.**_

_Not worth the trouble. Besides, I feel a lot safer with Hammerspace on my back. _I heaved myself to my feet and grimaced, as if the British girl could see my facial expression was directed at her. I had a sinking feeling that I was going to develop a deep hatred of British accents...

_**It's heavier than you are, **_the British girl pointed out wryly, jolting me from my thoughts (_Oh CRAP, she can probably hear my freaking thoughts, oh CRAAAAP.) _I felt my eye twitch as I snapped back.

_No it's NOT! Urgh, just be quiet... _I sighed out loud and rubbed my head, then leaned against a conveniently located stone wall behind me. The British girl did not stop her telepathic assault in the least. Once again, I heard her chuckle.

_**Ha, you're telling me what to do? I saved your bloody life, little Temari. Twice, in fact.**_

"Shut UP, Emiere..." I hissed out loud, kicking the ground moodily. I briefly wondered about how I had gotten to Hollow Bastion in the first place (late response, I know); the thought faded away as my telepathic thorn-in-the-side spoke up again, this time sounding surprised (and a little insulted.)

_**WHAT did you call me?**_

_Emiere. Name I made up. Better than calling you "British girl" all the time. Any objections?_

_**...Nah. It'll do. Now stop sitting there like an idiot and get moving. You've got work to do, remember? Start planning. And don't talk to me for a bit, I'm worn out from dragging you here.**_

_Wait, what? EMIERE!_ I received no response and groaned irritably. "Why the hell is she so cryptic? Dammit." I froze and stared at my hands. "And what am I supposed to do NOW? Going back toward the bailey would be stupid..." I began to pace, listing my options out loud. "One: I could just sit and wait until something happens. I get bored too easily, so that's a no. Two: I could go adventuring. Encounter more evil little bastards and get killed. That's also a no."

I started to pace faster. "Three: I could practice with Hammerspace and get strong enough to survive. That's a must, but I'll need a teacher..." Pace left. "Dammit, what should I do? I'm freaking helpless, even with Hammerspace..." Pace right. "And how the hell am I going to support myself? How did I even GET here?" Pace left.

"This-" Pace right. "-is so-" Pace left. "-fricking TRIPPY-"

"Hey." Big tall guy wearing leather.

"AARRGH!" Cue me epically falling on my ass. The big tall guy wearing leather looked down and me with a critical expression. _Wow, I never knew Leon was so tall..._ "Uh, hi," I offered quietly, waving slightly. "Sorry for... screaming in your face..."

"Heeey, you found her!" Another Final Fantasy character came running up from behind me, waving cheerfully and carrying a shuriken. _Oh, Yuffie. I definitely owe her an apology... what with leaving her to fight a bunch of Heartless alone and all._

"Um, hey... shuriken lady..." I spoke up cautiously, being careful not to use Yuffie's name. "I-I'm sorry... for running away before..." _Final Fantasy characters. Right in front of me. This is freakin' cool and freakin' trippy at the same time..._

"Don't worry about it! You've obviously never dealt with Heartless before," the cheery ninja replied easily, offering me a grin. _Ohh, if you only knew, Yuffie-chan... if you ONLY FREAKING KNNEEEEWWW. _

"Who are you?" Leon asked roughly. "I've never seen you around here before."

"I-I'm Temari Haruhara. Nice to meet you," I stated quietly, standing up and bowing my head. "I'm, uh, new here... I guess..." At this, Yuffie and Leon exchanged a knowing look. Leon spoke up before Yuffie could.

"Oh... I see. You must be from the world that just scattered."

**WHAT.**

"Sc-scattered?" I squeaked. "What are you talking about? What's going on here?" I didn't have to act surprised at the new information; the thought of my home and all the people I cared about being tossed to the winds... I was trembling at the very idea.

"Well, you see... there are countless different worlds out there," Yuffie explained cautiously. "And the Heartless-remember those?-they invaded your world and took its heart." I dropped to my knees, suddenly feeling very nauseous. _Oh no. Oh no no NO. This is NOT happening. It's NOT._

"I-it can't be..." I choked desperately. "How do you even know my world was... scattered?"

"A star went out last night," Leon replied stiffly, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world (which, to him, it was.) "Every star we see in the sky is a different world."

"What... what about my family? And my friends?" I asked, trying in vain to hold back the tears and panic. Yuffie gave me a sympathetic look and shrugged.

"Who knows? They could be anywhere... in other worlds. If they escaped," I heard Leon reply; he certainly didn't put it gently. Yuffie shot Leon an irritated look and put a reassuring hand on my shoulder. The word 'if' echoed eeriely in my mind for a few moments before it finally hit me:

My friends and family could be dead. Or they could have become Heartless. My whole _world _was gone.

Yuffie and Leon could only watch as I broke down for the second time that day.

* * *

I hate crying in front of people. Hate it hate it **hate **it.

Leon and Yuffie had to wait a good fifteen minutes before I finally managed to stop bawling hysterically. In retrospect, I applaud them for their patience. Had I been in their position, I would have slapped the annoying little whiner (cough me) in the face.

Leon strolled away casually, claiming to have work to do. Instead of trying to understand the man, I just assumed he wasn't so good with people; unlike me, he would just separate himself instead of stuttering and mumbling and acting all spineless. After I had mentally analyzed Leon to my heart's content, Yuffie volunteered to escort me to Merlin's house.

"Um... why are we going to this guy's house...?" I asked, rubbing my eyes irritably as I got to my feet. Yuffie grinned at me in an effort to lift my spirits; she obviously didn't feel like dealing with a mopey, emo-kid T-chan. I honestly don't blame her.

"Because Merlin's a master sorcerer. I'm sure he can help you!" I tried to stop moping, at least to do Yuffie a small favor. I tried to cheer myself up by remembering that I had once named a kitten Yuffie... Even after that, I couldn't attempt a smile, so I bowed my head instead.

"Thanks... for trying to help me... and I'm sorry for all the trouble..."

"Don't worry about it!" Yuffie suddenly shoved her hand out in front of me. "Name's Yuffie."

"O-oh... nice to meet you, Miss Yuffie..." I mumbled, shaking the ninja's hand briefly.

"Just Yuffie, got it?" Yuffie objected, with mock seriousness. I still couldn't attempt to smile, so I just nodded and cursed at myself. _Stop being such an emo kid, dammit. You'll never get freaking anything done like that, T-chan._

_**Glad you understand, little T-chan,**_ Emiere suddenly taunted. I could practically see her teasing grin, especially when I twitched slightly at the sound of her voice in my head. _**I must say, I love how you motivate yourself.**_

_Shut up. I thought you were tired._

_**Believe me, I am. Dropping you off here from interspace was a bloody hassle. **_I bit my lip and firmly decided that I was going to ignore the British voice in my head (that is so weird...) and just followed Yuffie silently.

"So, where'd you get the guitar? You didn't have it earlier." _So much for silence_.

"I just reached out and it was... there..." I replied quietly. "I call it Hammerspace."

"Hammerspace?" Yuffie snorted, probably laughing at the unusual name. "Sounds like you're pretty familiar with this thing."

"Yeah... I, uh... it's a long story." _**Shouldn't you be gathering information instead of gossipping?**_

_...They're technically the same thing, Emmy, dear._

_**Pfft. Gossip is bad, spread the word. Sound familiar?**_

_Yup. Now shut up, you're distracting me._

_**You have the attention span of a small insect...**_

I walked past the item shop and freezer, waving at the ducks (so so strange...) as Yuffie led the way. She kept trying to make small talk, asking where I was from and what it was like there and about my family and such. I tried not to mope but failed miserably; this led to me repeatedly apologizing to our favorite clumsy ninja.

"It's okay, really. Stop apologizing alr- heeey, we're here!" Yuffie abruptly stopped and gestured dramatically toward the door I had been abusing not an hour previously. She shoved said door open without any hesitation, grabbed my arm, and practically dragged me inside. "Hey, Merlin! This kid is from the world that scattered last night. She needs your help!" An old man in blue robes poofed into existence (I covered up a startled swear word by pretending to cough) and gave Yuffie an annoyed look.

"You want my help? Aren't I busy enough as it is?" the old wizard asked bitterly with a huge sigh. I immediately bit my lip as the guilt welled up. _Dammit, he's got a point. I've got no right to expect these people to drop everything just to help me. That's just being selfish._

"I-I'm sorry..." I mumbled out of habit. Yuffie whirled around and glared at me, crossing her arms.

"That's it, apologize again and I'll smack ya one, got it?"

"Y-yes ma'am..." Yuffie nodded and whirled back around to face the irritated sorcerer.

"She just needs a place to stay and someone to teach her to use a weapon. We can at least do that much, riiiiight?" Merlin sighed again and shook his head as Yuffie apparently gave him the sad eyes. I would have laughed if I still hadn't been feeling all mopey and emo.

"We're all stretched thin as it is, you know. I'll see if I can find a tutor... how does she expect to fight with an instrument?"

"Like this," I replied quietly, swinging Hammerspace off my back and extending the blade. Yuffie whistled in astonishment and Merlin blinked, looking very interested all of a sudden. "This guitar actually doesn't function as an instrument. There are twenty concealed weapons and... yeah..." I finished lamely.

"...I would like to examine this weapon of yours. Do you have the designs?" _Um, Emiere, some help?_

_**Ugh, fine. Small compartment where extra mags are stored. Enjoy. **_I extracted a rather worn piece of parchment from said hidden compartment and handed it to Merlin without a word. Said wizard immediately looked over the entire design with great enthusiasm and began ranting excitedly.

"This object-er, Hammerspace- has similar properties to my Bag of Holding... I've never seen this effect successfully duplicated with such a complex object..." More muttering as Yuffie and I impatiently shuffled our feet. I retracted the blade and slung Hammerspace on my back again just as Merlin looked up at me expectantly. "I'd like you to leave that here for now, lass."

"O-oh... yes sir..." I mumbled, placing Hammerspace next to a stack of books.

"Yuffie, lead her to the apartments, would you? She can share a room with that young man... what was his name..."

"Kaito?"

"Yes, him!" I flushed a bit at the thought of sharing an apartment with a young man I didn't know, but Yuffie and Merlin were apparently oblivious as Yuffie once again grabbed my arm and cheerfully led me along down a side road that hadn't existed in the game. I grumbled a bit at being dragged around so much lately, but bit my tongue when I remembered just how inconvenient I was being to everyone that was nice enough to offer their help.

"Uh... what's this Kaito like...?" I asked nervously. _Do I need to sleep with a gun?_

"He's really nice, just... kinda weird, too. He has this accent and says strange words sometimes." Yuffie gave me a reassuring grin. "I'm sure you'll get along fine! After all, you're both from different worlds!" The hyperactive ninja tugged my arm again and led me up some rusted iron stairs. We reached a door with a sign on it- _heeey, that looks like Japanese! - _and Yuffie happily flung open the door.

"H-hey, shouldn't you knock-" I started, only to have Yuffie ignore me and call out:

"Hey, Kaito! You mind sharing your space for awhile?" At this, a figure emerged from what I assumed to be the bathroom, judging by the huge plume of steam that whooshed out behind the man who appeared to be toweling his hair dry. "This is Temari. She's from a different world, like you," Yuffie added, gesturing towards me even as I inched behind her. The man merely nodded and stopped toweling his hair as the last of the steam dissipated. I gaped as I realized that the man was wearing a long white coat, had an absurdly long blue scarf wrapped around his neck, and cerulean hair...

"No, I don't mind sharing the place at all, Yuffie-chan," the man said, absently tossing the towel aside. The Vocaloid man peered at me from over Yuffie's shoulder. "Aww, she's shy. It's nice to meet you, Temari-chan. I'm Kaito, your new roommate."

* * *

Aaaand done! Sudden ending, blech. And yes, I have the nerve to include VOCALOIDS in a Kingdom Hearts fanfiction. (Kaito is not my favorite, though. Luka is.)

Holy freaking crap, I honestly got this spam message that said "Earth Times: Your Protection Against Alien Invasion." Pffft.

SUBLIMINAL MESSAGE OF THE DAY: Read **To Gaia, From Earth** by **mixgoldenphoenix** NOW. It's in my favorites, if you don't feel like searching. The search engine SUCKS. Or it just hates dial-up, BUT STILL!

And at first, I had this huge dilemma... cough HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO WRITE YUFFIE WHEN I KNOW NEXT TO NOTHING ABOUT HER NOOOO. But my dear friend Dion lent me Dirge of Cerberus. Beat it in two days and almost sued Square Enix because I thought they'd killed off Vincent, my favorite Final Fantasy VII character. Sure, I don't know much about Final Fantasy VII but after I saw Vincent in Advent Children I decided... "He has a gun and he has the same name as that short kid from my kindergarten class. Luff." Now why the hell can't Vincent be in Kingdom Hearts, huh? Is it because his background would be hard to squish into Kingdom Hearts, or because most of the FF charries featured in Kingdom Hearts are from FFVII, or WHAT?

Anyway, now I have some Yuffie-ness to work with. NOW to get Leon and Aerith-ness. Jeez.

Also, when Cloud made his grand appearance in Dirge of Cerberus my immediate reaction was "HOLY CRAP IT'S CLOUD FINALLY." Not that he's my favorite. He's third favorite. First is Vincent, second is Yuffie. WOW RAMBLING SHUT UP T-CHAN NAO.


	3. Roommates and Settling

Pfft, I haven't even touched this in ages. Still, it's fun.

Reviews? What, I actually got some?

**Sylph Writer**: Nice to hear from you again so soon, Sylph-sama. I'm glad I'm forgiven, and yes, Zelda is indeed classic. An avatar of the Keyblade... hmm. Thanks to BBS I think I know just how to do that... (smirks evilly) And I haven't played Final Fantasy VIII, so I know nothing of the original Squall Leonhart (except that he's broody.) Fortunately his dialogue and actions in Kingdom Hearts have given me a good idea as to how to write him. Laughing like an idiot at the mention of Kaito? Now why is that, I wonder...? XD

**kenegi**: You'll see. ^ ^ And yes, I noticed that.

**Natsuki Ayaka**: Glad you liked the reaction and the Vocaloid-ness. ^ ^

**The Ghost Reviewer**: Your username makes me wonder if you've ever been exorcised... um, anyway, yes, the T-chan is insane. You will have to see, darling. ^ ^

And here we have a picture of Emiere, the avatar of Hammerspace! Remove spaces: htt p : / / www . fa nart -ce ntr al. net/ pi c- 81 28 45 . ht ml

* * *

Reversed Reality

Chapter Three

Roommates and Settling

My first reaction was to gape stupidly at the singing robot man standing before me. Many questions whirled around in my mind, a few of them being: _What the hell is KAITO doing in Hollow freakin' Bastion? How does he know the Restoration Committee? When the hell did he learn English? _I didn't have the courage to voice these questions aloud, so I merely waved a hand and smiled weakly.

"Uh... it's nice to... meet you too... Kaito-kun..." _Oh holy fuck, please don't go all Uninstall on me... _For some reason, Kaito's face lit up and he grinned like an excited child. Yuffie snickered, apparently satisfied that Kaito and I were already getting along.

"Ahh, so you're familiar with honorifics! Do you speak Japanese, by any chance?"

"O-only a little..."

"Then you must be from the same world as me! It explains why you seemed to recognize me, anyway. Hmm, are you American? I've always wanted to visit America! After all, they're the ones who invented the hamburger! Genius, it was..." _Since when is Kaito so chatty...?_

"Umm, Kaito-kun, I'm not from the same world as you. In my world, you're just a computer program. You never had a physical form..." At Kaito's astonished expression (and Yuffie's confused blink) I elaborated. "My world is similar to yours but not quite the same. You and Hatsune-san and Meiko-san and the others are famous, but only to the select group of people who know of the Vocaloid program..." _Please don't let him go all Uninstall on me..._

_**Oh, stop making such a bloody fuss. It was just a song.**_

_Black Rock Shooter was just a song too, and now look at where it's gone._

"Ah, I see. Which of my songs is your favorite, Temari-chan?" Kaito asked, still grinning despite what I'd just said. _I don't think he was depicted as quite so cheerful in the Hatsune Mix manga... maybe it's just because he's glad to meet someone who knows of him._

"I-I really liked your cover of Take On Me..." I confessed with a slight blush. Kaito laughed as if I had told the best joke of the decade; Yuffie merely blinked again, confused as ever. She finally spoke up when Kaito stopped laughing.

"Uh... so, what's a Vocaloid?" she asked, inclining her head. I pointed wordlessly at Kaito. Yuffie just narrowed her eyes, expecting a better explanation.

"In my world, synthesized singing program. In Kaito's world, humanoids that are very good at singing." I rubbed my head a bit. "The worlds are all connected, apparently. I just never thought that Kaito would exist as an actual person... this day is so freakin' trippy..."

"Am I your favorite Vocaloid, Temari-chan?" Kaito asked eagerly.

"Um, no... Megurine-san is... but you're just as cool as Kamui-kun and Kagamine-kun a-and Hiyama-kun-" I stopped suddenly. "Oh shitcake, Kaito-kun... did your world scatter too?" Kaito and Yuffie both gave me strange looks for my original swearing before Kaito replied easily:

"Nope, I just stumbled across this strange gem and the next thing I knew, Aerith-chan was asking me if I was all right. Such a nice girl, not a mean bone in her body... by the way, Yuffie-chan, has Merlin-sama finished analyzing the gem yet?"

"I dunno, I'll have to go ask him. You can show Temari around in the meantime!" Yuffie suggested eagerly, to which Kaito immediately agreed.

"I'd love to! Is that all right with you, Temari-chan?" Kaito asked, kneeling to my eye level (damn my lack of height.)

"Can you handle the Heartless around here by yourself? I'm... weak. Really weak and pathetic..." I mumbled as I looked away in shame. Kaito grabbed my arm and led me out of the room, followed by Yuffie. They both neglected to close the door, so I awkwardly kicked it shut.

"Leave it to me, Temari-chan! I'll protect you with all my might!"

* * *

_**You sure are getting chummy with this Kaito bloke.**_

_I'm going to be living with him for who knows how long. I'm trying to adjust, here._

_**I'm more interested in the gem he mentioned. Sounds a helluva lot more convenient than a gummi ship and I sure as hell can't drag you through interspace again, so it's the best way for you to travel to different worlds.**_

_When did we establish a need for me to travel to other worlds?_

_**You want your home and family back, don't you? Get off your bum and earn it, you bint.**_

_Gee, thanks for the encouragement, Emmy._

"...and this is the training ground! Be sure to get here by 6 A.M. tomorrow to meet your teacher," Kaito derailed my train of thought by showing me an absurdly large arena-type area with wooden targets scattered about. There was also a rusted stand thing that had several wooden swords propped up against it. Kaito caught my stare and waved a hand. "Oh, you won't be using those, Temari-chan. In order to learn to wield your guitar weapon, you'll have to practice with it."

"I'll have to invest in rubber bullets, then..." _Unless Emmy dear can conjure some for me..._

_**Not bloody likely. You have to do SOMETHING for yourself for once, dear.**_

"I'm not sure, but I think they'll be asking Harley to teach you. He's a master of the sword... Temari-chan, are you listening?"

"S-sorry, I'm kinda distracted... worried about my family and all..." I rubbed my head a little and examined the training grounds a bit more. "...And, uh, now I'm getting kinda nervous about the whole training thing. I need it pretty badly, but yeah..." Kaito squee'd and glomped me, spinning around.

"Awww, you're so KYOOT! You'll do fine, Temari-chan, I know it! Lemme go buy you some food!"

* * *

We only managed to explore a small part of Hollow Bastion before Kaito got so excited about cooking for me that we HAD to go back to his apartment. I was a little scared of how peppy the man was, but assumed it was due to him being bored of living alone. I was also rather anxious of what the man planned to make (he bought a lot of fish and I really don't like fish). Feeling guilty, I spent the trip home and some time sitting at the table thinking of ways to hide the food instead of having to eat it. Then, after about a half hour of Japanese swear words and chaos, I found out...

Kaito can cook.

Holy SHIT, Kaito can cook.

He always breaks at least one appliance or plate (or, in one case, a chair) in the process, but his food is amazing. At first I was a little uneasy about trying Japanese food (I'm American, never been to a Japanese restaurant) but it was very good. Kaito could make me eat fish. The man was a miracle worker. He made an amusing face when I ate most of the manju he made, too...

Um, anyway, after devouring my weight in Japanese food it only took me about an hour to settle in to Kaito's apartment. He already had a spare futon and blankets and all, and he only had to clear a (very) broken karaoke machine from the spare room. It probably wouldn't have taken as long if Kaito didn't have to stop to sing (and kept having me request stuff.) Soon after that he tossed some of his spare clothes at me and said something about 'shower there OMG MUST SING MORE NAO'.

Yeah, wearing a man's spare clothes. A bit awkward, especially considering that I barely come to said man's shoulder. I had to use bandages to keep the pants from sliding right down to the floor and my hands were hopelessly lost in the sleeves. Emiere could not stop laughing obnoxiously in my head. Kaito thought it was cute, and he had the decency not to laugh at me.

"Sorry, T-chan, that's all I have for now. I'll ask Aerith-chan to find you some better clothes later, 'kay?" I nodded and cringed inwardly. Aerith was the average girly girl and would probably get me some bright frilly dresses or skirts and I can't stand that stuff. I shop in the same clothes section as my younger brother, enough said. Still, I was NOT going to be a selfish whiny twit for once in my freaking life and I would NOT complain about what Aerith got me, even if it was pink.

I looked up to see Kaito had been ranting about what kind of stuff I should wear and decided to shift the man's attention in the easiest way possible:

"Kaito-kun, can you sing The Black Rose by L'Arc-en-Ciel?"

"Absolutely! Wait just a second..."

I don't know if it was part of his programming, but you could distract Kaito from ANYTHING with music. Of course, it was becoming increasingly difficult to think of Kaito as a program seeing as he was now happily blaring the lyrics I'd requested. Technically speaking, he WAS a program, though... maybe he could be of some help to Sora and Tron in the Space Paranoids world.

Ahh, Space Paranoids... that place kicked my ass on my first playthrough...

Anyway, it took another four hours to get Kaito to calm down and retire to his room. I flopped down on my cot shortly afterward, staring wistfully at the ceiling that was not my own. Once again my thoughts wandered to Earth; I closed my eyes and pictured my room. Then the room I'd had before that one, though that was more difficult. Then I brought up an image of the group photograph I'd been bullied into in eighth grade, of me and a group of friends that consisted mostly of people that had denied my existence at the beginning of freshman year. I thought of Chiikaku, remembering the weird look I'd given her when she first sat with me at lunch and tried to rouse a conversation from me in seventh grade.

Neon, also known as Eriku, the biggest pervert but one of the nicest girls in the eighth grade. She'd hauled me out of my anti-social shell against my will, but it had done me quite a bit of good.

Prosser, who I had met through Neon in freshman year. She was a lot more mature than me despite being four years younger. Baaah.

My mother, who had told me, "The dead ones are lucky." She was pretty feminist and wouldn't take crap from anyone.

My dad, who had thrown me in a pool and smashed a raw egg on my head. Him and his warped sense of humor.

My oldest sister, how she used to spit at us if we weren't quiet while she watched Dragon Ball Z.

My second oldest sister, who was quiet, obedient, and overall lacking a personality until she met Onii-chan.

Onii-chan, introducing me to Kingdom Hearts. How he scared the bejesus out of me when I first met him because he was tall and had spiky blonde hair at the time.

My younger brother, that obnoxious little bastard with his superiority complex. We grew up together pretty closely since we were 'the little ones' and were grouped separately from our older sisters and our cousin, who was practically a sibling to us.

...People say you don't appreciate what you have until it's gone. I realized that first night just how horribly right they were.

* * *

I hate mornings. Nothing good ever comes of them.

Naturally, thanks to my shitty luck and puny little brain, I slept in. Sure, it was only 5:45 a.m., but that left me with fifteen minutes to make a forty-five minute trip. Being late on the very first day of training was the last thing I wanted to do; I had to make my teacher believe I was worth teaching. Mom always said a good first impression works wonders, but I'd never had to worry about it until SOMEONE summoned Heartless to Earth and turned my life into a big ol' pile of Clusterfuck.

So I had to run like my ass was on fire first thing in the morning. I'd only had the time to run my fingers through my hair, frantically scrub my teeth, and shove my shoes on before hurrying out the door. No breakfast, despite Kaito's protests as I tripped down the short staircase outside and rolled to my feet. So, yeah, running full sprint for a preeetty good distance. Sixteen years of secondhand smoke makes that VERY difficult, believe me. Thank you, Mom, Dad, Grandma, and every other freaking adult in my family. Gaah.

Of course the fact that I was lazy didn't help the effort at all. I was always decently fast, but I ran out of steam in approximately thirty seconds. Again, this makes running frantically over a good few miles very, very difficult. If not for my bike riding, I probably would've dropped dead after the first quarter of a mile. I actually kept myself going by reciting lyrics in my head. I had a rhythm to run to, and it honestly made me forget how my lungs felt all shriveled up and the size of marbles and how my legs felt like heavy blocks of lead.

I almost trampled poor Scrooge McDuck and offered a breathless apology over my shoulder without stopping. I had to swerve to dodge a huge tall guy in black (Cloud...? Nah.) and tripped, scraping my left knee as I hit the cobblestones. It took me a few seconds to reestablish a rhythm and start running again, but I managed to do so somehow even though I was honestly forgetting what it was like to be able to breathe by that point. I briefly wondered if that was how people with asthma sometimes felt and gained new appreciation for people who have to live with that disease. You people are awesome. I salute you.

I collapsed into a heap of breathless, exhausted T-chan when I finally reached the training grounds, not noticing the man glaring down at me as I tried frantically to make my damn lungs actually WORK. The coughing didn't help, so I forced myself to sit up and put my hands behind my head, lifting my diaphragm and making it easier to breathe.

"Oh, so you know that trick? Good, one less thing you have to learn. Just so you know, you're two minutes and forty-eight seconds late. I expect better from you. Off your ass and give me a lap around the training grounds." I didn't even turn to glare at the man who was apparently my teacher as I hobbled to my feet and coughed some more. Again, damn secondhand smoke. I groaned inwardly and started on the lap around the training grounds I'd been ordered to run. I thought back to P.E. in middle school and freshman year and resisted the urge to roll my eyes; I could already tell that this guy was worse than all of those teachers _combined_, and the teacher I had in seventh grade was a BITCH. She didn't even give a kid with asthma a break.

Another ten minutes later, I finished the lap and resisted the urge to collapse in front of the man who was supposedly my teacher; I decided that I was going to treat him like my seventh grade teacher, who would make you run more if you dropped after finishing instead of WALKING another lap. I took the chance to actually get a good look at him and was actually mildly impressed; he looked like he was once in the military. He was roughly middle-aged with blonde and gray hair in a low (greasy-looking) ponytail, had a LOT of scars, wore kinda generic black and green clothes that looked like a tattered uniform of sorts, and had these harsh icy blue eyes.

"Te-Temari Haruhara," I choked as means of an introduction; I offered my hand, but the man didn't take it. I started to wonder if he maybe wanted me to salute or chirp "Sir!" at him like a cadet, but he merely squared his shoulders and grumbled.

"Name's Harley. Now let's get started, mouse."

* * *

Gaah, this is so short...

Oookaaaay! To explain a few things!

About Kaito going all Uninstall... well, he did a cover of the song Uninstall from the anime Bokurano. However, the lyrics were heavily edited and involved him brutally murdering all his fellow Vocaloids to earn the sole attention of the infamous "Master." Granted the T-chan is not a Vocaloid, but Kaito killing people... yes, even HE has one of those songs. In a way, Uninstall is Kaito's Fear Garden.

"Manju" is... basically, a cake filled with red bean paste. It's sweet. This is a horrible comparison, but think of manju like it's a Japanese Twinkie.

And yay for Birth by Sleep. I was honored when a friend offered to let me borrow the game AND his PSP to play it. To think he'd trust me with that... (needless to say I treated it like precious stone... precious FRAGILE stone...) Beat Ven's story, beat Aqua's, couldn't beat Terra's because he's so friggin' slow... gave up after barely scraping a victory against the first boss... yeah. Anyway, I found out that Mickey used a Star Shard from Yen Sid's place to get around the worlds and I was all "That's PERFECT! Ha ha ha!" I'd been fretting how to explain the whole gem-transport thingy. But yeah, the T-chan of the story has not played BBS (started this before I got to play it) so yeah. She/I won't be all 'OMIG YOU'RE VEN' at Roxas or anything. And yes, I know Roxas isn't Ven, DON'T TRY TO EXPLAIN IT PLEASE.

And a little note, I have also played and beaten 358/2 Days. Pfft, playing as Roxas... it's absurd how many times I died on purpose just to hear Jesse McCartney scream. Same as Ven's story on BBS and for Roxas on KH2. Don't like Jesse McCartney. Mostly my little brother's fault for not being a real man.

Also played and beat Re:Coded, so I FINALLY found out what that DAMN letter said!

In other news, I havta live with my aunt for about a year. House got foreclosed. Damn shitty economy. Weell, I don't HAVE to live with my aunt, but I wanna graduate with my friends, so yeah... I'll probably be babysitting the resident four-year-old a lot...

Holy crap, ranting. Well, thanks for the faves and reviews I got but don't deserve. ^ ^


	4. Initiate

Sooo, I've been gone for awhile. You all might be thinking "What the HELL have you been up to, T-chan?"

Well, long story short, my laptop got brutally raped by a virus/worm/thing. Windows Defender didn't do SHIT.

Fortunately, Chii-chan's brother is very knowledgable in the field of computers and gladly reformatted and fixed (hell, he even CLEANED) my darling laptop for free. Unfortunately, he couldn't back up any of my files for risk of the virus/worm/thing hitching a ride, so... I lost everything. I had chapter five and some of chapter six done, too... but, alas, they are gone.

And I have a SHITLOAD of updates to get. Lemme put it this way: my laptop has a default trial of Microsoft Office 2003. Tis old, yes. Unlike all those horribly obnoxious preps that get new cell phones and tablets and shit every week, I don't feel the need to have the newest thing out there. My laptop isn't that old, really, but considering how much computers and technology have advanced since 2003-2004 or so... I might as well be using an abacus. I don't care; the T-chan is old school. I still play the Nintendo 64 for fuck's sake.

But the virus/worm/thing was brutal, man... it was using my e-mail to send little spawn virus/worm/things out to people in my contact list. Yeeeaaah, T-chan has new e-mail now. It wouldn't even let me run any programs (or else I would have copied down my chapters BY HAND in order to save them) and whenever I tried to run it in Safe Mode... it froze. Yeah, shit.

Subliminal message of the day: Avira Antivirus. Free, and prevents shit like this from happening to YOU. (_points like Uncle Sam_) Windows Defender sucks. McAfee also sucks.

And I say burn virus/worm/thing-writers at the stake! (_shakes fist at said fat sweaty loser people_)

In happier news, I have the whole KHI soundtrack on my laptop. Andrew is awesome. Squee. Poor quiet guy volunteered to hang out in public with me, Neon, and Chii-chan (and was surprised when we invited Prosser along as well). Didn't know what he was signing up for and I'm pretty damn sure he was scarred for life. But then, BUT THEN, he said it was fun and he wanted to do it again. Wooow, points to him for guts, man.

Reviews:

So, now I stop rambling and present the new chapter five. With any luck it'll be better than the previous one.

Reversed Reality

Chapter Four

Initiate

* * *

So, you're probably expecting on that first day I totally pwned my teacher, effortlessly earned everyone's respect in all of Hollow Bastion, had the whole male population swooning over me, and traded in dear old Hammerspace for a shiny, beautiful Keyblade.

Ha ha, **NO**.

Harley was harsh. It was exactly what I needed (people had always been too nice to me; I was never outright bullied or anything, just harassed on occasion) but still. DAMN was he HARSH. He told me what I needed to know with no restraint. Form sucked, balance sucked, stamina was practically nonexistant, and I focused too much on one thing and completely overlooked other things. The only thing I had going for me was perseverance, and I had to be _encouraged _regularly. Well, I say that's all I had going for me, but there is one other thing: I know how to put up and shut up and just complain via thoughts instead of out loud. Thank you, evil P.E. teachers of middle school.

Recap: four months since that horrid first day of training with Harley, my teacher of doom. Those four months consisted of so many failures and beatdowns that it defied logic, and there were many, many times I wanted nothing more than to _strangle that man_. And he would SENSE it and make me run another ten laps around the training field, damn him.

But here's the amazing thing: the training actually freaking worked.

Well, I was making very veeeeeeeeery slow progress, but still. It was progress. I was a very happy T-chan, especially when I finally managed to hit the target during shooting practice a month and a half after the first day. The (rather redneck) archery practice I used to engage in (cough arrows at soda cans and the neighbor's old classic car once) was next to no help at all as far as aiming the damn bullets went, but according to Harley it actually did help a little. If not for that, it probably would've taken me another month, he said. Damn.

During the training I discovered that some of the weapons I had originally designed Hammerspace with were replaced with simpler functions. I shrugged this off, remembering how impractical the original designs were anyways. I mean, what use would a _chainsaw effect _be to a klutz like the T-chan? I'd probably chop off my own leg or something.

I also learned how to distinguish the functions that activated Hammerspace's weapons. I only got them mixed up a little bit at first, but for some reason actually wielding the thing I used to doodle in crappy little comics felt kind of... natural in a surreal sort of way. I had everything pretty much memorized, surprise surprise. Emiere's irritable coaching and Harley's coarse shouting made a huge difference too, of course.

Alright, so Harley's personality: tsundere. I originally thought he was just an asshole for the sake of being an asshole, but Aerith (with whom the man was apparently acquainted) informed me that he was only so harsh and cold because he really, really cared about me (in a completely healthy and non-creepy non-pedophiliac way, of course). I had to take her word for it; try as I might, I couldn't grasp any emotion in that man's eyes other than 'I-fucking-hate-you-bitch-die.'

And holy SHIT, the man was impatient. He wouldn't stand for tardiness at all and he put time limits on EVERYTHING, even lunch break. If I couldn't run ten laps in five minutes I'd run ten more. My record on the ten laps was _eight minutes and forty-seven seconds_. If not for the schedule he'd have had me running all day, the sadistic bastard. Gaargh.

Fortunately, Merlin was more patient with me as he taught me the basic spells. Unfortunately, I just plain could not pull off Fire for the bloody life of me, so we just skipped it and moved on to other lessons. Apparently people aren't compatible with some spells, as Merlin once explained. The equal and opposite was also true, meaning some people could be naturally adept at certain spells; I discovered I was a freakin' NINJA at using Aero magic. It got to the point where I could make myself hover for about twenty seconds if I tried reeeeeeeeeally hard. Merlin said most people don't master Aero to that degree as quickly as I did. Yeah, that was certainly an ego boost... even though I pretty much failed at everything else. My Reflect spell couldn't repel pollen yet...

But neh, not being able to use Fire wasn't so bad... Hammerspace kinda sorta has a flare gun equipped. Tee hee. Not the same as making little will 'o' the wisps like Merlin could do, but hey, I improvise. It's also a good thing Hammerspace has a shield, which is why I wasn't overly concerned with how much I failed at Reflect.

So you think, oh, she's so strong, neh neh neh. Uh, yeah, I had improved a lot, but I was still an amateur. Harley told me so after I finished the ten laps on the last day of Month Number Four, but surprised me greatly when he didn't bark at me to go run ten more.

"I've taught you all I can now, mouse," Harley rumbled, crossing his arms. I dropped my arms and stared at him, slack-jawed in disbelief. "You've learned all you can from me. The rest you have to do on your own."

"Are you... graduating me? Don't I have uh, a final test or something?" I babbled breathlessly like an idiot. Harley cocked an eyebrow and smirked. I died a little on the inside, recognizing the look I usually got when I fell into one of my teacher's sinister traps.

"You want one, do you, mouse?" Cue me paling dramatically as I set about distractedly polishing Hammerspace. Emiere chuckled at me in the back of my skull: _**One would think you'd've learned not to encourage him like that, old mum.**_

"NO. No no no, that's not necessary-"

"Then you shouldn't have said anything. Get up and extend the broad blade." To my absolute horror, Harley conjured his katar and pointed it at me. "Connect an attack and you pass. Fail and it's another four months of me making your life hell. Sounds like fun, eh, mouse?" The blood drained from my face as I numbly twisted the neck and extended the blade as I'd been told.

_**If you don't wanna waste another four months with this sadist, you'd better pass, old mum, **_Emiere grumbled at me. I gulped, still not convinced that I was actually about to fight _Harley_, holy _shit_, he was gonna kick my _ass_, I was NEVER going to connect an attack-

-and then he was right in front of me.

I had less than half a second to parry and I barely managed to do so. Harley smoothly backstepped before I could counter and shot off a Fire attack at me. I didn't have time to active Hammerspace's shield, so I merely dashed out of the way, flipped Hammerspace around, and fired a few shots at Harley's legs, intending to slow him down.

No such luck. As soon as I had aimed for his mobility he went airborne and lunged at me. I flipped Hammerspace around again (_**You've gotten very good at that, old mum, **_Emiere remarked) and swung (too wide, dammit, argh) to counter the attack I was expecting.

Once again, no such luck. Harley ducked under my blade and went right for the huge hole I always left in my guard. I swore loudly and backstepped not quite fast enough; my right side got nicked, prompting a hiss of pain from our favorite T-chan.

"Fuck! Aero!" I shouted, aiming my favorite spell at my assaultant. Harley neatly side-stepped the whirlwind I'd produced and swung his katar at me. Once again I had to parry, something I obviously wasn't very good at-

Wait a minute. Let's try something new, shall we?

I (clumsily) backstepped out of Harley's range, twisted the top of Hammerspace's neck off, and aimed briefly at Harley's katar. _**Hmm, using that, are we? Strange tactic, **_Emiere murmured thoughfully as Harley smirked, as if he were expecting such a tactic. Damn me and my predictability, gaaah. Harley closed in once again, intent on slicing me open and teaching me _once again_ how far I had to go. I bit my lip to keep from panicking (_**Bad habit, old mum**_, Emiere scolded lightly), then pulled the trigger and fired the hookshot at Harley's weapon.

To the surprise of both of us, the chain actually caught and swung the hookshot around the blade, effectively wrapping the weapon up. I seized the opportunity and yanked the chain as hard as I could, aiming to disarm Harley. He smirked and used the momentum to launch himself at me. Due to the hookshot being out, I couldn't try to swing Hammerspace for fear of the blade getting caught by the chain. I was all kinds of helpless.

...

...

Well, SHIT.

As a last ditch effort, I pulled the chain again, tensed, and hurled my fist at Harley's face. For once he looked surprised; he wasn't expecting me to try something so mundane. I had only been trained briefly in hand to hand combat, after all. Needless to say I didn't exactly pull off the classic right hook, but I at least managed to slam my fist into Harley's jaw.

CRACKCRACKSNAP.

No, that was not Harley's jaw. That was _three of my fingers_. **OWW**.

Harley grunted slightly in pain as I swore foully. He backed away with a grumbled swear word, gingerly touched his bruised jaw, and smiled at me. No, seriously, he didn't _smirk_, he _smiled_. Harley never, ever smiled at anyone or anything as long as I've known him. EVER.

"Well, well, looks like you learned the final lesson. You're finally getting to be a little less predictable." Harley rubbed his jaw, then jerked his katar. The chains around it dropped right off; I took the cue and wound the chain back up, replaced the hookshot, and snapped the top of Hammerspace's neck back on with a grimace at my broken fingers. Damn Harley and his hard face. "Good job, Temari."

And _that _would be the first time he called me by name instead of 'mouse', his affectionate nickname for me. I stood there, slack-jawed. I honestly didn't know what to expect next. For all I knew he'd sprout flowers from his nose or something. Harley snickered at my shock, then untied his trusty headband, walked up, grabbed my hand (owwww broken fingerrrss daaammmnn), and deposited his gift.

"You passed; you're done here. Go out there, kick some ass, get better, and come back so I can get you back for clockin' me in the face," Harley demanded as I stared at his gift in disbelief.

"B-but... it was just luck," I protested weakly, once again cursing my broken fingers. I cast a quick little Cure to numb the pain. I ended up casting two more just to try to mend the damn bones. Yeah, T-chan's not that good at Cure, yet, either.

"Luck's important, kiddo, believe me." Harley cast a much stronger Cure; I sighed in relief as my fingers stopped throbbing at long last and the small gash in my side closed up. My former teacher firmly clapped me on the shoulder and turned around. "Off you go, now. Merlin said he wanted to see you after you passed."

"Uh, alr- wait. How did he know I was going to pass?" I asked, pocketing Harley's headband. Said katar wielder barked a crude laugh and smirked at me over his shoulder.

"Because _I _knew you would. Now for the last time, scram; I got work to do."

* * *

"Heeeey, congratulations!" Yuffie called as I marched over to Merlin's house. I paused and looked over at her as she came bounding on up, gleefully trodding on a downed Heartless along the way. I batted away a few little Shadows and grinned sheepishly. _I can't believe these little guys used to scare the crap out of me._

_**Well, now that you're not completely pathetic, of course they don't. You'd best not get too cocky, though, T-chan.**_

"Uh, thanks... wait, did everyone know I was gonna pass today?" I asked thickly, to which Yuffie laughed and tossed her head. I flushed a little and looked to the side. _Hmm, that guy looks kinda like Cloud. I wonder..._

"Of course we did! I wanted to throw a party, but Leon says we're too busy with patrol to do one now. Sooo... later, okay?" Yuffie offered as she effortlessly dispatched some Soldier Heartless that were trying to ambush her.

"It's not necessary," I replied, flushing. I shot down the last few Shadows and Soldiers in the area and slung Hammerspace on my back.

"Sure it is! I wanna eat cake!" _**She's making this sound like a birthday party. By the way, you're getting rather close to that, are you not? It would be the end of January on Earth about now, you know.**_

"Then... just go and make one for kicks...?" I tried, blatantly ignoring Emiere. Said avatar huffed in irritation, feeling unappreciated. I sent her a thought informing her that I was touched she remembered my birthday, though it was two months away.

"But that's no fuuuuuun," Yuffie whined, hanging her head. I merely shrugged and continued on my march to Merlin's house. "Hey, have you heard about what Kaito found?" she asked, following me eagerly. I shook my head a little.

"Um, no. Wasn't it the gem he found before he got spirited away here, or did he find something else recently?"

"The gem. Turns out it's a Star Shard. _Yen Sid's _Star Shard," Yuffie explained in a rush, as if she'd been _dying _to spread the word... which she most likely was, of course. Yuffie was one hell of a notorious gossipper if nothing else.

"I believe I can explain the rest, lass," Merlin called from his house as his door swung open. Yuffie pouted, her fun ruined; then she shrugged and dashed off with the declaration of "I'm gonna tell everyone else real quick!" I blinked, still not used to her insane energy levels, then turned and waltzed through Merlin's door.

"Now what's this about a Star Shard?" I asked politely as I dodged teetering stacks of spellbooks. Merlin adjusted his spectacles and stared me down as I carefully approached. _Um, wasn't that Star Shard a thing in Birth By Sleep? Emiere?_

_**King Mickey used it to get around the worlds back during those events eleven years ago, yes. That was his Mark of Mastery exam. Satisfied?**_

_Yup, thanks._

"This can transport people to other worlds effortlessly," Merlin explained, displaying the Star Shard. "Which, of course, is how Kaito got here. I only recently discovered that it belongs to Master Yen Sid. He informed me that his had been taken just a few days before Kaito arrived. I had my suspicions, of course, but I couldn't confirm them until I could cast an Origin spell-"

"Um, yeah, that's great," I interrupted Merlin's rambling apologetically. "Can this get Kaito back to his world?"

"This? Of course it can. However, it must be returned to Yen Sid. He will then be able to ascertain who stole it and will punish them as he sees fit," Merlin explained with a hint of sadism in his voice. I guess Star Shards are valuable. Either that, or stealing from Masters is a biiiiiiiiiiiig no-no. I'm thinking both.

"Well then, I'll take that back to Yen Sid after dropping Kaito off," I volunteered stupidly, mentally facepalming. _**Actually that's a good idea. Maybe you can get him to let you use it to traverse the worlds. I sure as HELL don't trust you to pilot a gummi ship.**_

_Oh shut up. It's not my fault I kept hitting stuff back when I was playing KHII. Real life and a game are a lot different._

_**Still not trusting. Take the Shard, old mum.**_

"But... how will you get back?" Merlin asked skeptically. I blinked as I felt unexplainable guilt clench my insides and Emiere snickered in my mind. _**Ooooh, how ya gonna tell him you're not coming back, hmm?**_

_What're you talking about? I'll be back sometime. Besides, we don't know that Yen Sid won't tell me to go fuck myself._

"I'll ask Yen Sid about the possibilities. If he can't do anything, I'll have him send you a message and we can figure something out," I heard myself say. "I'm not all that concerned. Yen Sid's pretty powerful, right? I'm sure he could get me to some world, even if it isn't this one."

"You don't want to come back here?" Merlin asked incredulously, stepping back once in shock and stumbling on the hem of his robes. The cold guilt in the pit of my stomach felt heavier when I saw the look on the old wizard's face. _Dammit, I'm being so selfish..._

"Of course I want to come back, as long as I'm welcome," I protested. "I just need to get moving and find my friends and family. You understand, right?" Merlin gave me a searching look, then sighed and shook his head.

"My dear, you'll always be welcome. Well now," Merlin growled, clearing his throat. "we need to get Kaito back home, don't we? Go on and tell him the news, would you?" I nodded, bowed, and dashed toward the door.

"Hold it! One more thing!" I jolted mid-step and looked to my left to see a thick leatherbound book floating towards me. I stepped back a bit, then glanced over my shoulder at Merlin. "It's a spellbook. I expect you to study and improve your magic while you're gone, young lady," Merlin explained sternly. I nodded mutely and held out my hands; the book obediently dropped into them. I staggered, surprised by its absurd weight.

"'1001 Spells for Basic Combat'?" I read from the cover. _Explains how thick it is. Damn. Well, maybe I can use this to be more of a ninja at Aero. Win. _I could practically sense Merlin nodding proudly behind me.

"Yes, it's a wonderful tome with spells listed in order of their difficulty. I expect you to have mastered one spell from chapter fifteen or later by the time you return, understood?"

"Yes, sir," I replied easily. I slipped the book into a Bag of Holding that Merlin tossed at me (which I gladly noted had a few Potions and Ethers stored within) and slipped the tiny little thing into my pocket. "I'll be seeing you again, sir," I promised sincerely. I offered Merlin an appreciative smile over my shoulder and ran out the door towards the apartments, where Kaito was sure to be "fixing" (cough smashing) the karaoke machine.

As soon as I got to our apartment (not without tripping up the stairs, of course) I Spartan-kicked the door open and shouted Kaito's name. Said humanoid nearly jumped out of his skin and collapsed onto the couch that he had once "accidently" sawn in half. I eyed said couch suspiciously and marveled at how Kaito had "fixed" it with duct tape and a broom handle as it happily caved under his weight..

"J-jeez, don't scare me like that, T-chan!" Kaito laughed, inching away from said demolished couch. "To think a cute little thing like you could be so loud..." I shook the word 'cute' off and hastily explained about the Star Shard and the devious plot, all while eyeing the couch and wondering how Kaito planned to "re-fix" it.

"So... I'm going home."

"That you are. I can't wait to see the place," I replied eagerly as Kaito tugged on his scarf nervously. Seeing the normally peppy and bouncy humanoid even remotely nervous was strange beyond belief. Especially since his mood shifted so suddenly. "Is something wrong, Kaito-kun?"

"Just a bit... anxious. I'm gonna miss everyone here. And besides, I'm not too confident in that thing," Kaito explained, glaring warily at the Star Shard clasped in my left hand. I gave him a confused look even as Emiere explained. _**It has a will of its own, in a way. When Mickey was using it, it would activate at random times and take him to random places. It's kinda bipolar. One day it'll work for you, the next it'll send you everywhere but where you want to go.**_

"Ah... well, it should be fine," I tried to reassure Kaito and failed, now officially nervous myself. I inclined my head and tried to peer under the couch. "So, uh... is there anything you want to do before we take off?" I asked cautiously. Kaito rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

"Weelll... I wanna say goodbye to everyone." Kaito, ever the melodramatic one, acted as if he were on the verge of tears. "Oh, they've been so kind to me... except for that time I was singing as Cid was sleeping and he nearly impaled me with his spear..."

"...Okay then. I guess I owe them a proper farewell, too," I replied, embarrassed. "Uh... you know... seeing as how I've done nothing but mooch off of them for the past four months..."

"You're not a moocher! You've been working so hard! And you nearly broke your neck that one time trying to repay everyone!" Kaito insisted (rather loudly).

"I was trying to get that kid's kite off the crane. That isn't particularly useful," I deadpanned, grimacing at the memory. I had screeched like a dying animal when I realized I was about to fall and poor Leon happened to come running by wondering what the hell the problem was. Needless to say I pretty much body-slammed the poor guy. And through all that, that damn kite was still stuck, too...

"Still, you're not a moocher. You were never trying to just take what you needed without paying for it," Kaito replied easily. I had a sudden recollection and facepalmed, swore loudly, and took off towards the door. Poor Kaito gave me the weirdest look as I dashed on by.

"_DAMN _it! I never paid that duck back for the Potion! AND IT WAS FOUR BLOODY MONTHS AGO! FUUUUCK!"

* * *

_**Well, you and Kaito sure have gotten chummy, **_Emiere remarked idly. _**You gonna be okay with leaving him behind?**_

_Not leaving anyone behind. I'll see them all again if it kills me. They're more than just characters now._

_**Hmm. Well said, if not hopelessly naive. One does not write the laws of the World, T-chan.**_

There I was, wandering around Hollow Bastion with freakin' Kaito trying to hunt people down just to tell them 'Yeah, we're leaving, sorry for mooching.' Harley was nowhere to be found, so we got Yuffie taken care of first. She gave me _bruises_, she hugged me so tightly. She didn't look very depressed, but that was because she knew we'd be back (probably very soon). Aerith came right after that; she didn't injure me like her comrade did, but she did load us up with a hell of a lot of healing supplies. I felt kinda bad about the charity, but she wouldn't take payment... so, damn.

We ran into Leon shortly afterward, who merely nodded at me as if he wished I were already gone (I honestly don't blame him. Nearly broke his spine and all). Kaito gave him a look until he reluctantly waved a hand and grumbled, "See you soon." I knew he probably didn't like me much regardless of how hard I tried, but I shrugged it off and reminded myself that you can't win them all.

Scrooge and the triplet ducks (still can't tell them apart, dammit) were next, of course. I finally paid the item store duck back for the Potion he'd used on my arm four months ago (with a huge interest payment and a half dozen apologies).

And then we found Cloud. My first time meeting him, actually, but he'd met Kaito before.

"Heeey, Cloud-kun!" Kaito called out gleefully. Said black clad Chocobo head man froze and slowly turned to face us as Kaito (dragging me along) waltzed on up to him. Dumb as it was, actually seeing Cloud in person kinda... freaked me out. One would think I'd be used to such things after mooching off Yuffie, Leon, and Cid, and Aerith for almost half a year... Still, I tried to hide behind Kaito, who would have none of that.

"Hn." Wow, Cloud-o was not in a good mood. Hmm... is he even _capable _of being in a good mood? I mean, he was a freakin' emo kid in Advent Children... "Kaito. Heard you're takin' off."

"That I am. And heeere's my adorable little escort! Her world scattered, poor thing, and she's off to look for her friends and family!" Kaito declared, stepping aside and indicating me. I also stepped to the side, not wanting to be seen. Kaito gave me an amused look and Cloud looked like he didn't give a damn if I got hit by a meteor or something. Which... is probably how he actually feels. Ah, well, damn.

"I'm _not _adorable," I grumbled, not budging from my spot halfway behind Kaito. Cloud didn't even blink; he just stared at me like 'ew, a person'. "Um, nice to meet you, sir. I go by Temari Haruhara, but my friends tend to call me T-chan." _Why am I even telling him this, he doesn't CARE..._

"Cloud Strife." I died a little when Cloud blinked at me. I honestly don't know why, but he was seriously scaring the hell out of me (_**Pfft, the scariest blink ever,**_ Emiere sniggered unnecessarily). Damn me and my anti-social-ness. "Kaito... you seen a guy with silver hair and a long sword?" _Hoshit, he's looking for Sephiroth... OH FUCK, Sephiroth could be here somewhere in all his stabbity girly ninja-ness, SHIT SHIT SHIT. _

"Um... no, can't say I have," Kaito replied sheepishly. "Why are you looking for this man?"

"To settle things." _More like get stabbed in the lung and keep going like the fuckin' Energizer Bunny. Advent Children has told this tale before. _Apparently Cloud caught my skeptical look, for his icy gaze settled on me. "You got a problem with that?" _**Good goin' there, T-chan, **_Emiere chuckled as I panicked.

"N-no!" I protested shrilly, shrinking behind Kaito. "I-it's just... uh..." _Think of something, think of something... _"What makes you think this man could be here?" I asked with a tremor as Kaito tried to disentangle me from his scarf.

"I just _know_." _Dude, why does this guy always talk like he's stoned? Seriously. Like in Advent Children, he'd sometimes say some seriously random shit all 'Yeah, bitch, this be part of our conversation, neeeeh.' _

_**Weeell... remember Onii-chan's explanation for that?**_

_He said it was because he went batshit when Aerith died, but she's alive in this universe... oh shit, Zack._

_**Bingo.**_

_But... did he even know Zack in this universe? He wasn't mentioned..._

_**Birth By Sleep, Olympus Coliseum. Didn't show him meeting Cloud, but it's safe to assume...**_

_HOLY __SHIT__, ZACK'S IN BBS. I'M FUCKING PLAYING THAT GAME._

"You always space out like that?" Cloud asked stiffly. I flushed a little. _**My, how the tables have turned. **_Fortunately, Kaito chose at that moment to come to my rescue. Unfortunately, he kinda jumped to the side as he did so, leaving me exposed to the Chocobo headed man before me. I died on the inside a little more.

"This is just a big day for her. She passed Harley's test and she's off to get me home, give Yen Sid his Star Shard back, and start her journey," Kaito explained eagerly.

"This is Harley's student?" Cloud asked with numb disbelief. "Never thought she'd be so scrawny." _Yeah, well, fuck you too. _I paled when I realized that I wasn't hiding behind Kaito, so my pissed off expression was plainly visible. And Cloud noticed.

Wow, way to make an ass out of yourself, T-chan.

"Hn. Well, here." Cloud suddenly thrust his fist in my face. I cringed a bit, initially thinking he was actually going to punch me in the nose. Kaito snickered a bit, prompting me to glare at him and offer my hand palm up as Cloud had implied he wanted me to do. He dropped a small, metallic-looking ocarina charm on a cord into my hand, then abruptly turned around. "Good luck, kid. From the looks of things, you need it." And with that, Cloud was off.

"Oooh, whatcha got, T-chan?" Kaito cooed, examining the little charm in my hand. I stared at it in awe, remembering seeing something much like it in a display case at one of the shops in town, priced 15000 munny (absurd, I know).

"It's... a Moogle Summoning Flute," I recalled. "You use this when you need a Moogle product with no Moogle around. Where the _hell _did he get this? From what I've heard they're not exactly freakin' mass-produced..." Cloud's retreating figure was already too far away to really see, but I shouted a very loud thank you anyway. I was ignored, of course, but this didn't bother me as I stored the Moogle Summoning Flute in my Bag of Holding. _Huh. Nice in an assholey kinda way._

_**There are quite a lot of people like that Cloud bloke. Not many have such outrageous hair, though.**_

"Okaaaaay. You ready to go, dear?" I asked, rubbing my head and disregarding Emiere again (for which I offered a meek apology). Kaito displayed his own Bag of Holding and nodded eagerly. _**Have fun traveling with this bloke, **_Emiere taunted in a singsong voice at the back of my mind. I ignored Emiere's sadistic chuckling and held up the Star Shard. Kaito knew what I was about to do and grabbed my arm firmly. "Okay, uh... focus on your world reeeeeeeeally hard, now..."

There was a blinding light, a weird whooshing feeling, and Hollow Bastion shrank away from us before we even knew what was happening.

* * *

First, it was cold. It was really, really cold.

Second, it was either really windy or we were moving pretty damn fast. Kaito was gripping my arm so hard I knew it would leave rather unpleasant bruises. It was only after I felt a sickening change of direction that I dared to open my eyes.

Kaito and I were flying around in fucking interspace without any sort of protection except a goldish glow, which left a streaming tail that made us resemble a comet. We whooshed by worlds at insane speed (_**Hey, I think we just passed Wonderland**_, Emiere remarked calmly). A few times we ventured close to a world only to veer wildly off course and head elsewhere, as if the Star Shard was trying to decide where to go. Not a comforting thought, that.

I tried to shout "This is FUCKING TRIPPY!" only to have no sound come out. Oh yeah, there's no sound in space, no matter how much video games, movies, and TV shows might argue that. Hahaha, frickin' derps.

We veered roughly again, prompting a wave of nausea. Yeah, T-chan doesn't do so well at amusement parks. 'Nuff said. I foolishly clung tighter to Kaito, who might have been sniggering from how he was shaking a little. Either that, or he was just as cold as me. The piercing, numbing cold suddenly ceased and was replaced by mild heat and INSANE turbulence.

We spun and twisted wildly as we plummeted toward what had to be the destination world. Fortunately, we weren't burning to a crisp due to friction upon reentering an atmosphere (I'll contribute that to the Star Shard), but the turbulence made it hard for Kaito and I to hold on to each other. We phased through a cloud (weird sizzling sound...) and with a sudden wrench to the left, Kaito was flung away from me and dropped like a stone. I shouted some highly inappropriate profanities and tried to will the Star Shard to go and catch him only for the golden glow to abruptly fade; I, too, dropped like a stone.

Oh SHIT.

My immediate reaction to this new development was to scream very shrilly and very loudly and assume the fetal position. T-chan does NOT do heights and falling, darlings. I was thankfully low enough in the atmosphere to be able to breathe (and to no longer pass through clouds; I was cold enough as it was without getting drenched, thank you). Emiere abruptly started shouting all kinds of not nice things pertaining to my intelligence level.

_**Flatten out, you bloody idiot! If you don't slow the descent you're gonna go splat! Hell, you're probably gonna go splat anyway, use Aero or something!**_

"A-Aero!" I choked suddenly as I unfolded and faced the rapidly approaching ground... which I soon realized was a large body of water. The whirlwind whooshed around me as I willed, slowing my descent slightly. I repeated this procedure, with rather minimal but appreciated results. Emiere called me more names and dismissed Hammerspace, which would help when I had to swim. I had a sudden recollection of a Mythbusters episode and, conveniently, a weird movie I had watched in Spanish class about cliff divers. I shifted my position to hit the water feet first and locked my ankles and knees so the joints could better absorb the impact. I just managed to inhale deeply before I plunged beneath the surface of the water.

Yeah, it was cold, and it wasn't the ocean. I managed to swallow a good few mouthfuls of the liquid and tasted no brine; no salt, not an ocean. Must've been a large lake, then, because there was no current like in a river...

_**Yes yes, that's nice, now why don't you swim to the surface, you fucking imbecile! **_Emiere screeched, snapping my mind back to attention. I swore mentally and clawed idiotically at the water, wishing I had taken the time to learn to swim properly instead of settling for flailing in the desired direction. _**Wrong way, wrong way, go UP! UP, DAMMIT! **_I twisted about in the water, my clothes weighing me down (damn denim gets HEAVY when wet), and started awkwardly swimming up. My lungs were on fire by this point, freaking wonderful.

Just when I started getting really lightheaded, my head broke the surface and I gasped dramatically, choking on the blessed metabolic toxin known as oxygen. I shouted a victory cry and pumped my fist over my head as I struggled viciously to stay afloat.

_**Nicely done, locking up like that. But why'd you go feet first instead of head first like the cliff divers? **_

_I didn't want to risk dislocating a shoulder or smashing my head._

_**So you decided to risk your mobility instead. Brilliant.**_

_I didn't have much time to ponder my options, thanks. _I flailed about in the water some more, swiveling, trying to locate the nearest shore. After a few hasty and probably largely inaccurate mental calculations, I started on my plotted course with a very poorly imitated frontstroke... at least I think that's what it's called. Hmm.

After veering off course a few times and sinking beneath the surface at regular intervals (I swim much faster when submerged) I finally reached water shallow enough for me to wade through. I trudged the rest of the way to the shore as my sodden clothes clung to me and weighed me down. _Emmy, do you have any idea where Kaito ended up?_

_**All I can say for sure is that he's in this world and that he most likely fell several dozen miles to the south. Whether he survived or not is to be seen.**_

_Bright little ray of sunshine, you are._

_**Look at the pot calling the kettle black, there, T-chan. **_I shook my head irritably and conjured Hammerspace for comfort's sake. I cast Aero in a vain attempt to dry myself off a bit; after flicking my waterlogged bangs out of my eyes, I took a moment to examine my surroundings.

There was the huge lake behind me, of course. In front of me was a forest, which reminded me of my small hometown with the name that literally meant 'big wood.' There was a plainly visible trail through said forest that had a few metallic-looking paper lantern like things hung in lower branches. To my left was more treeline and a bare patch of ground with a horribly rusted pair of katanas impaled into the soil. To my right, more treeline and grass that appeared to have been scorched by a brutal Fire spell in some places.

For some reason, I decided to go left. I kneeled before the abandoned weapons, noticing how one was about six inches longer than the other, which made me think _wakizashi_. I was no expert, but judging by the extent of the rust... I guessed the swords had been there for at least ten or twenty years.

_**Try fifty, love. I'm amazed there's anything left of them at all... Lemme guess. You're going to ignore the lovely lighted trail and wander into the woods in this direction to see if you find anything, right? **_Emiere asked, knowing the answer. I smirked at her expense and peered into the forest before me.

_Yup. Call it misplaced curiosity. _I slowly got to my feet and dodged around the swords. _I just feel like that's the way to go... so, screw the trail for now._

_**Wow. Hard to argue with that logic.**_

_Oh, shut up._

* * *

By the time three hours had elapsed, Emiere guessed we had traveled about two miles. Two miles of nothing but dodging trees and waiting to dry off and listening for the telltale sounds of Kaito's arrival. Yeah, fun-filled beyond belief.

I was fortunate in the sense that there were no wild animals or Heartless around; at the same time, I almost wanted to see some. I mean, I was eager to encounter SOME life form other than trees and grass. The world was obviously habitable, so yeah. And it had to be inhabited, hence the swords. There was no guarantee the inhabitants were human, but if they were intelligent enough to forge weapons then that was plenty good enough... as long as they didn't try to stab me in the spleen. Ugh.

After another two hours, I finally got what I wished for. I trudged up a hill, got whacked in the face by an evil tree branch, and cleared some bushes to find an enormous building that appeared to be constructed almost entirely of metal nestled in a valley. On closer inspection, there were humanoid figures wandering about the vicinity and a huge garage-type door. What windows I could see were very securely barred; the place could have very well been a prison or something.

"Well... that's not out of place at all," I mumbled sarcastically as Emiere sneered at me. I ducked behind a tree as a bulky man in dark green and black armor, armed with what was supposedly a standard issue spear, hustled on by. Knowing men in armor with spears usually weren't very friendly, that was a smart move. When I was sure he was gone, I ventured out from my hiding place and took a few tentative steps toward the huge metal facility. _Gaaah, Kaito might be in there. Well, I've gone and started an adventure, might as well do something insane. Dammit._

_**Oh, lovely. Cue Mission Impossible theme.**_

I ignored Emiere again and crept down the valley wall, miraulously out of sight of the armored men (_**Most likely guards**_, Emiere concluded). I took the opportunity to dash behind a conveniently located tree; a few seconds after I did so, a guard waltzed on by, looked left and right slowly and suspiciously, then went back the way he came. _Augh, this reminds me of the that damn Theor Forest level in Tales of the Abyss._

_**Only you don't have the option of going through killing everyone. That'll just get you caught. Too bad you always sucked at hide and seek.**_

_Hey, I was always FORCED to play! Against older kids! Of course I sucked at it... _I grimaced, peeked out from behind my cover, then leaped out and made a mad dash for the next tree. Again, it was nothing short of a miracle that I wasn't seen. After waiting a few seconds, I once again peeked out from behind my hiding place to gauge my distance from the next spot of decent cover. To my dismay, I found that the best way to go without getting caught would be to go around the back. I didn't even know if there was a door back there. I sure as hell wasn't about to start shooting; it would give me away and I sure as hell didn't want to kill anyone. I a sniper do not make.

So, a distraction would have to do it. Plan "Cast Aero in _that _direction and blow the fucking door open with dynamite when the guards scatter like roaches" commence!

I took a minute to really, really concentrate on what I wanted the magic to do as I pulled and twisted the neck clockwise and fished a stick of dynamite out of the cavity in the bottom that had opened at the prompt. After a little while, I released what was quite likely the best Aero I had casted yet. A huge whirlwind sprung up about twenty meters to my left; some guards got blown away and the rest scattered trying to find the caster.

I seized the chance eagerly and threw the dynamite in the direction of the garage-type door. I quickly twisted the neck clockwise, aimed at the dynamite, and fired the flare at it just as it bounced off the door and hit the ground. Cue dramatic (but not overly dangerous) explosion. Cue the guards scattering even more as my Aero twister started to die down due to my lack of concentration. I ran out from my meager hiding place like a bat out of hell, whacked a few wayward guards aside, and bashed my way through the charred hole in the metal.

The first thing I thought, sadly, was _This shithole reminds me of school_.

Long metal hallways with metal doors on either side and a fork a little ways down. Minus the fact that it was metal and not chipped, ugly tiles and cheap ass bricks and did not, in fact, have holes in the ceiling, the place did veeeery vaguely resemble my school on Earth. As soon as I thought this, a guard came bounding up the hall brandishing a spear at me. I almost expected him to shout "PDA!" like the psychotic teachers back home, only I wasn't hugging or kissing anyone... hmm.

Oh, yeah. Armed guy coming this way. Focus, woman.

I twisted the neck counterclockwise, extending the broad blade. Yeah, I had no desire to cast Aero in such cramped quarters... that, and I had reason to believe my magic was running low. Damn. Anyway, I dodged the guard's initial thrust and sliced the blade off of his spear with a careful swing of Hammerspace. Said guard cringed and tried to run, but I grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and yanked him back.

"Hold it, before you go report me or whatever! What is this place?" I asked roughly. The man froze and looked at me in shock.

"You don't even know what this place is and you broke in? What kind of idiot are you?" the poor man asked incredulously, dropping what remained of his spear when I prompty him to do so with a glare. Pfft, well-trained, he was.

"The best idiot you'll ever meet, now answer the question," I replied calmly.

"Th-this is the Gurideru Prison... where we keep capital offenders under orders from His Majesty-"

"Okay, great. Brought in a guy with blue hair and a blue scarf lately?" I asked as Emiere chuckled at the scene.

"What? N-no... you're not here to release that _fiend_, are you?" the man asked, suddenly terrified. I blinked, mentally asking Emiere if she remembered anything like this in any Disney movie. I received an irritated negative response and sighed heavily, to which the man cringed.

"Well, I wasn't. Buuuut since, from what I've seen, you guys are all assholes... I might just let it loose to spite you. Run along, now. Er, on second thought..." I retracted the blade and smacked the guy in the back of his helmet with Hammerspace, creating a lovely CLANG sound and knocking the guard unconscious. He dropped to the floor with a painful sounding thud and I took a few bold steps forward.

_**Nice going, you forgot to ask him for directions. You think he lied about Kaito?**_

_Maybe. I'm gonna take a look around to be safe. As for the fiend, I'mma steer clear from that. Don't wanna meddle and fuck up the world order._

_**The entirety of Kingdom Hearts II is meddling and fucking up the world order.**_

_Touche. _I stalked up to the fork and picked left, having always wanted to be left-handed (because all the lefties I know are uber talented, damn them...) and ended up face to face with another guard, who I quickly kicked in the groin and whacked in the head. I reveled in the lovely CLANG sound as I jumped over the second downed guard and moved on.

The majority of my time wandering the Gurideru Prison continued as such until I had to knock down three guards at once and discovered an unnecessarily barred and chained door down a treacherous-looking flight of stairs. It looked like they were trying to keep the Hulk or Godzilla or both locked up in there. I assumed that was where the "fiend" was being held.

Instead of steering clear of it, however, I had the feeling that I should go inside and at least see what the thing looked like. Well, curiosity may have killed the cat, but according to my grandfather satisfaction brought him back. Mind set, I extended the blade and swung at the chains on the door, reducing them to shrapnel. The bar I had to lift myself, which was absurdly difficult. After a few minutes, I managed to force the detestable door open and cautiously peered inside.

The only sight to behold was darkness and a faint red glow. Thoughts of the Philosopher's Stone sprung up in my mind unbidden. I pushed the heavy door open wider and shed more light into the room. The sight that met my eyes was not that of a fiend, but a woman chained up very veeerry securely and bound within some kind of sorcery diagram, which I assumed to be the source of the red glow.

My intelligent reaction to this was to shout 'HOSHIT' and fall epically on my ass. My next thought was "_Geez, Hellsing much?_" Not as scary as a fiend (or anorexic vampire), but the woman was locked up for a reason... her absurdly long white hair, strange facial markings, and slightly pointed ears led me to believe she wasn't quite human.

The sad thing was that was probably the only reason she was chained up in a shithole dungeon, I realized with a jolt. The thought served only to piss me off. _Screw it. If she doesn't sound like some possessed banshee or something, I'm letting her loose._

"Uh... hey," I called out weakly, standing up slowly. The woman didn't respond at all, prompting me to incline my head. "Hello? Can you hear me?" Again, no response. I was about to try again when Emiere groaned in the back of my mind.

_**Idiot. See that circle? It's a kind of sealing magic. It's got her heart all locked up. She's like Kairi in the first Kingdom Hearts game. **_I flinched as I remembered the first Kingdom Hearts game, how it didn't have the option to skip cutscenes and how I kept having to watch the one where Riku's all double-voice "I'm ANSEM, biotch. I'mma take Kairi's heart from inside you, Sora, YEAH" over and over and over...

_Okay, how do we remedy that? Her heart's still with her, right? _I asked Emiere as I examined the Sealing circle warily. I noticed with a grimace that the girl's eyes were blank and lifeless due to the locking of her heart. I briefly wondered if it was painful for her.

_**Yeah, she still has her heart. They chained it up via sealing so as to prevent her breaking out. Better than just turning her into a Heartless that could just attack them again. All you need to do is break the circle, get her out of those chains, and give her some time to recover. Happy ending as long as you can get out carrying a catatonic demon lady.**_

_Oh, I'll make it out. I HAVE to tell Onii-chan about this shit. It'd make one HELL of an anime. _With that, I stalked toward the Sealed woman and carefully smashed the chains that bound her. I then gleefully stabbed one of the glowing red lines, which prompted an unrealistic screeching sound and caused the red glow to cease-

-and then the world was black.

* * *

Okaaaay. Done. Hoping it's better than the last.

And yes, I used the word 'derp.' I blame Prosser in all his Internet-ness.

You all might be wondering what world T-chan and Kaito are in. You'll be finding out soon, dears. It's not Disney, but that's all I'll say for now.

Sorry about how long this is. Last chapter was horribly short and I felt the need to compensate. Bad T-chan. (_whacks head against shelf_)

Sadly, and with no relevance to anything, my awesome squishy headphones with skulls on them appear to be going out on me. I'll be hunting up an expert to fix them because I love these darlings. Squee.

Oh, and if I remember right, wakizashi is a set of two swords, one of which is longer than the other. Of course, I could easily be wrong. Wrote this at home, where there be no Internet. Gaah.

...I have this story plotted to the end. Not much is really finalized since my stories tend to write themselves, but the fact that I've actually got a plan makes me happy even though I probably won't follow it.


End file.
